This week was difficult Tea Time-wise, seeing as how I am on vacation in Montreal and therefore am in no mood to do anything but sit on my ass and make snarky comments about Canadian television. And Sarah’s had a rough week too, in spite of the karma points she racked up from doing the Tea Time alone last week.
So we have Tea Time this week, but sadly it was done a few days ago, before a bunch of stuff happened that kind of changes what we talked about. Oops.
It’s also a pretty short and awfully distracted one.
Okay, you know what? It sucks. Everything about it. I don’t even know why I’m posting it. I’m going to go hide under a rock for awhile.
Or maybe I’ll go spend some time in the hotel spa and forget about the lot of you.
[Note: at the time this was taking place, the Bruins were going to play the Penguins and that game was being broadcast on Versus.]
S: I AM GOING TO DRINK EVERY TIME VERSUS MENTIONS THAT THE PENS ARE STANLEY CUP WINNERS TONIGHT.
M: I like the Penguins. What did the Penguins ever do to you?
S: They’re annoying.
M: I think Pittsburgh sports teams will forever be the greatest wedge in our relationship.
S: Yeah, thats probably true. Tell me you weren’t cheering for the Steelers last night.
M: Um. I can’t do that, S.
M: I’m sorry.
S: I was cheering for the Broncos. It’s a good thing we’re reasonable people and can get past this misunderstanding.
M: It isn’t a misunderstanding. I like Pittsburgh teams. (Adam, if you’re out there, I hope you appreciate this.)
M: GOD, Montreal TV, stop talking about Lyle Overbay trade rumors! How in GOD’S NAME could ANYONE care about that? Even Jays fans?
S: Shouldn’t Montreal TV just have all hockey, all the time?
M: It pretty much does. I love being able to choose from multiple televised games. And Versus’ broadcast isn’t too bad when the idiots are yapping away in French.
S: AMAZING. I know you’re a Pens fan, but I really honestly am not looking forward to that broadcast tonight. Give me Jack and Brick over those clowns any day.
M: So how are we feeling about the Bruins right now anyway?
S: I want to say cautiously optimistic. Saturday’s game felt really solid, and with Krejci back in the lineup I feel even better – tonight will be a really good test.
[Note: And indeed it was–the Bruins beat the Penguins (or what is left of them) in a 3-0 shutout.]
S: Savard and Lucic will be back soon enough – I think Lucic said he was angling for a return to play in the vicinity of Nov. 20.
M: That PK has really come together. Say what you will about the scoring, but the team we had at the start of the beginning could not have killed off some of the 5-on-3s we’ve had lately.
S: Oh, not at all. Daniel Paille – who ever thought he’d be this good of an addition to the team?
M: He looked great in that Sabres game.
S: He did. I have it from at least two Sabres fans that he tends to not make flashy plays – he does the little things, the chippy little plays to keep the puck out of our zone. And I think that’s definitely what we need right now.
M: You know, it’s interesting to hear that, because people used to say the exact same things about PJ Axelsson. And Paille has really taken over Axey’s role.
BONUS CAMEO APPEARANCE BY BRUINS EXPERT COMMENTATOR DOUG!
“Paille to me is a more physical PJ who has good stick work and positioning, a bit faster than PJ as well. PJ though was an ultimate positioning/stick work guy. Absolutely amazing to be honest. Paille seems to be really smart and able to do that while getting into the gritty areas, so overall a bit more rounded but not quite PJ for PJs top qualities. But we want a more rounded player, especially if he can get scoring. Scoring, though, is a comfort/mental issue with Paille. I’m almost convinced of that actually.”
[Note: Paille scored his first goal for the Bruins that night against Pittsburgh. Congratulations, kiddo.]
S: Pie kept shooting RIGHT INTO THE GOALIE’S CHEST every time he had a chance on Saturday, so that last part seems spot-on to me.
M: Yeah, he seems to be similar to the rest of the team the last few days– they can get a shot, but they don’t quite line up right. He might be a half-step behind the rest of the team coming out of that slump.
[Note: I clearly have no idea what I’m talking about.]
S: Luckily that’s something he’ll probably get more comfortable with, the more playing time he sees. And again, that’ll correllate to his playing time – he didn’t see much time for the first part of the season in Buffalo. I’ll bet he just needs to shake off the rust.
M: Yeah, otherwise, I love his speed and his work in the corners. Great presence on the team.
S: Truth. I don’t want to say things are starting to click after just one successful game, but…I’m cautiously optimistic. (When am I NOT cautiously optimistic?)
[Note: that night the Bruins’ win was the first consecutive win of the season thus far, and the Sabres and Penguins are both good teams. So clearly S.’s optimism was warranted.]
M: Now, the Patriots.
S: YES. I had settled in for a long bout of screaming at my TV after that interception in the first, and then the called-back touchdown a few minutes later.
M: They looked pretty good. I will say I’m so happy Jerod Mayo is back. I love watching him sack people. Love it.
S: Oh definitely. I’m pretty excited for the game next week – I think that’ll really be their chance to shut the universe up.
M: Against the…?
[Note: I’m an idiot. And also I hadn’t been subject to the New England media inundation.]
S: Colts. Manning and the MF-ING COLTS.
M: They are not worthy of their record. They’re good, but they aren’t THAT good. They are not 2007 Patriots good.
S: They need to be taken down a peg. And who better to do the job than the Pats?
M: I know. Peyton loves us.
M: How are we doing in the division?
S: Uh, hmm. I believe we’re up at the top of our division? Oh, look at that, we are! How ’bout that.
M: We need to hire a research intern to do this shit for us.
[Note: this is where things start falling apart.]
M: Okay, I have to go. I’m meeting EP and we’re going to a TOUR OF THE BELL CENTRE and I’m going the GAME TONIGHT. That is going to be one EPIC gameday shenanigans post.
S: Oh LORD.
M: Undercover at the Habs’ home ice… S., I am going to Youppiville, and I may never come back.
S: NOOOOO. He attacked me at the draft, M! IT WAS TRAUMATIC. So Draft is about to start, I’ve had to pee for about an hour, so i’m out in the hall looking for the bathroom with… someone else, random twitter Habs fan. I’m poking at my phone, and Habs fan all of a sudden yells “YOUPPIII!” and I’m all OH MY GOD GIANT ORANGE THING COMING AT ME. He hugged the Habs fan, then punched me in the shoulder. Of course I had my Timmy Thomas jersey on, so I was asking for it I suppose?
M: Wow. Did you press charges?
S: Nah, I just punched him back. Then we hugged it out.
M: He’s had some rough years. He probably has attachment disorders, what with the Expos having abandoned him with the Habs. Poor guy. If I left you for all eternity to cheer for the Habs, would that make YOU violent?
S: Oh my god, yes. I wonder if he has beef with the Nats mascot, or if that’s just out of his periphery at this point?
M: He may be in denial.
S: I hope so.
M: KOALAS UNDER THREAT!?!?! NOOOOO.
M: POPULATION HAS HIT A NEW LOW. TV SAYS SO.
S: KOALAS. D:
A HEARTY GOOD ON YA TO…
The Celtics— STILL. They are reliably shutting down opponents’ offenses. Last night against the Utah Jazz they didn’t allow a single 3-point field goal. Not one. They started the season with 8 games in 12 days, and made it through with flying colors. 8-1 on the season. Damn, they’re good.
The Bruins’ Power Play– Finally, you scored. Finally. And you did it twice in one game. Thank you. Don’t stop now.
Theo Epstein– I’m still not really sure what you’re up to with Jeremy Hermida and Alex Gonzalez, but you exercised the option of Victor Martinez, and bless you for that. Great acquisition. For now, you’re still on my good list.
Rasheed Wallace– Known for his temper and technical fouls, but Celtics fans have been treated to Sheed workin’ it during Peanut Butter Jelly Time and cheering with KG when Gino comes out to play at the Garden. Teammates obviously love having him there. Keep it up (but… just a hint… stop over-relying on the 3).
Jack Edwards & Andy Brickley– For so many many reasons. Keep it up, guys.
Patrice Bergeron– Kid has stepped up in a major way as an offensive leader when Marc Savard went down with a broken foot. He’s so clearly talented, and he puts it out there every single game, working his ass off. It’s why we were so in love with him before the concussion problems. Consistency, thy name is Patrice and thy number is 37.
SMACKS UPSIDE THE HEAD TO…
The NHL– The season is still in its infancy and you’re already embroiled in debate over headshots and more than one franchise is in major financial crisis and you keep sending Gary Bettman out to spout the same bullshit about commitment to the game and to the fans and crap like that. Come on, do you think we’re that dumb? You still need to earn our trust back. You think we forgot about that little lockout business?
Injuries– At the end of last week, 118 NHL players were on injured reserve or DTD. That’s around 18-20% of the league, and averages out to 3 or 4 players per team. Jesus. Get well soon, kids.
Patrice Bergeron’s facial hair experiment– Just get rid of it. Please. Who do you think you are, Josh Beckett?
The Montreal Canadiens– I’m writing these without S.’s help, and I don’t need a reason.
Scott Boras– another offseason, another torrent of quotes from you that make you among the most loathesome in sports. I hate you for so many reasons, not the least of which is you playing the Red Sox like a freakin violin when you were talking to the Yankees about Teixeira last winter. Die in a fire. Or of…
H1N1– You tried to take Krejci away! You son of a bitch.
Images from Stuart Cahill/Boston Herald, unknown, and Peter Keeling/insidehockey.com.